Hiding Sin Helps No One; 2 Sam 13-15

May the mumbling commence!

The sins of the father are visited upon the son – only the sin is worsened.  Amnon, son of David, became inflamed with lust for his half-sister, Tamar.  Tamar’s brother was Absalom.  Amnon was sick with desire, and his friend Jonadab noticed it.  When Jonadab found out Amnon’s desire, Jonadab devised a plan to create a situation that would allow Amnon the greatest chance to lie with Tamar.  Amnon, at the advice of Jonadab, feigned sickness and asked his father for Tamar to serve him food by hand.  Read what happened from 2 Samuel 13:9b-15 –

"Send everyone out of here," Amnon said. So everyone left him.  Then Amnon said to Tamar, "Bring the food here into my bedroom so I may eat from your hand." And Tamar took the bread she had prepared and brought it to her brother Amnon in his bedroom.  But when she took it to him to eat, he grabbed her and said, "Come to bed with me, my sister." 

"Don't, my brother!" she said to him. "Don't force me. Such a thing should not be done in Israel! Don't do this wicked thing.  What about me? Where could I get rid of my disgrace? And what about you? You would be like one of the wicked fools in Israel. Please speak to the king; he will not keep me from being married to you." 

But he refused to listen to her, and since he was stronger than she, he raped her.  Then Amnon hated her with intense hatred. In fact, he hated her more than he had loved her. Amnon said to her, "Get up and get out!" 

Ask yourself, “How does a true friend help?”  Do they, like Jonadab, help lead us into evil?  Or do they help us understand the evil nature of our desires and lead us away from them?  Tamar tried to dissuade Amnon.  Like Amnon, when we are inflamed with lust or coveting, we rarely think of the effect of what we plan to do will have on others – even on others that we claim to love.  We also do not realize how what we plan to do will affect us.  And we refuse to go and ask the king of our lives the desires of our heart – perhaps because we are afraid that our desires will be refused.  

And, when we act on impulse, we will find the same hatred for the cause for our sin.  Amnon could not stand to be in the presence of Tamar anymore after he raped her.  Amnon had might, but that might did not equate to right.  Hindsight told Amnon that, but it was too late.  Amnon hated Tamar because she reminded him of his sin.  

Both Amnon and Tamar were disgraced by Amnon’s impulsive actions.  When David found out, he was furious.  David may have expressed his fury to Amnon, but David did nothing.  Perhaps, Amnon’s actions reminded David too much of his own actions with Bathsheba and Uriah.  Who was David to judge in the case of Amnon? 

And Absalom, Tamar’s brother, hated Amnon for what he had done to Tamar.  Absalom protected Tamar in his household.  Absalom seethed with hatred at Amnon, and he probably wondered why their father, David, did not pronounce judgment on Amnon.  In his heart, Absalom had already pronounced judgment on Amnon.  Absalom devised a plan of his own.  He invited all his brothers to his sheep shearing.  Absalom ordered his servants to kill Amnon, when Amnon was drunk from wine.  The servants did so.

Amnon’s death grieved David and his household, and Absalom fled for his own protection.  David grieved for the loss of Amnon, but David now also grieved for the estrangement of Absalom.  What would have happened if David had been open to his sons about his feelings about the act of Amnon?  We will never know.  But I wonder.  Would such sharing have defused the hatred of both Absalom and Amnon?  Could it have provided steps to a healing process for everyone?  Maybe this refusal of David to act was behind his hesitation to see Absalom when Absalom returned to the king’s court.  Read from 2 Samuel 14:32-33 –

Absalom said to Joab, "Look, I sent word to you and said, 'Come here so I can send you to the king to ask, "Why have I come from Geshur? It would be better for me if I were still there!" 'Now then, I want to see the king's face, and if I am guilty of anything, let him put me to death." 

So Joab went to the king and told him this. Then the king summoned Absalom, and he came in and bowed down with his face to the ground before the king. And the king kissed Absalom.   

The king kissed his estranged son and fellowship was restored!  Can we be open about our sins with others to help prevent them from making the same mistakes?  It is the mark of true fellowship, friendship, and in this case parenting.  

Enough mumbling for now…  

Peace Out