To Love is to Honor; Ephesians

May the mumbling commence!

After Paul writes about the marriage relationship in Ephesians, he moves on to the relationship between parents and children.  Though some of us cannot relate to the marriage relationship because we are not married, all of us can relate to the parent-child relationship. 

All of us have parents… or those who act as our parents.  And, as we grow older, our relationships with young people make us parents whether or not we have any biological children.  Read from Ephesians chapter six (Eugene Peterson’s The Message paraphrase):

Children, do what your parents tell you. This is only right.

"Honor your father and mother" is the first commandment that has a promise attached to it, namely, "so you will live well and have a long life."

Fathers, don't exasperate your children by coming down hard on them. Take them by the hand and lead them in the way of the Master.

(Verses 1-4)

Do what you mother and father tell you.  Honor them.  That is the command from the Lord for children in relationship to their parents.

But what do we do when the command of our parents runs contrary to the command of God?  Yes, we are to honor our mother and father.  Yes, if we honor them, then we will live well and long.  But, if their order goes against the commandments of God, then we must obey our heavenly Father before our earthly one. 

Sometimes, when children disobey parents respectfully in order to follow God, children can help lead their parents to the Way of Christ, the Way of God.  Yes, children can do this for their parents.  What better way is there to honor our parents?  It is true.  Think about the life of Enoch in Genesis (5:21ff) – a life that was changed by having children.

And, what about the flip side – how should parents relate to their children?  Don’t exasperate your children by coming down hard on them.  Don’t try to live the life that you wish you would have lived as a child.  You know, don’t force your child to do all those sports or band or academic achievements that you did or that you did not do very well.

Parents – do take your child by the hand and lead them in the Way of the Master.  Give them structure, but allow your children to find their own way within the structure.  Support them as they make first steps into adulthood.

And, sooner or later, this relationship we reciprocate.  Sooner or later, the child will need to care for and make decisions for the aging parent.  Honor is still owed in this parent-child relationship.  Children: be there for your parents in their old age.  Be there to take their hand and care for them.  Show them that you have learned the Master’s Way well.

To love is to honor.  It is that simple.  And honor is doubly important when the power is unequal within the relationship.  Honor is doubly important for whoever has the power advantage.

Enough mumbling for now…

Peace Out